• Palestinians Trying to Overshadow Wills and Kate

    Everyone on Earth knows that the most important thing happening this week is the marriage of one inbred (but seemingly very nice) English helicopter pilot to some hot chick. Everyone, that is, except for the Palestinians, who remain annoyingly obsessed with lifting themselves out of poverty and desperation.

    Hey, guys, we don't even know who designed Kate's wedding thong yet. Try and focus on something important, maybe? No? Ugh, fine. Then go ahead and form a coalition government, as if that's some kind of big development

    The two main Palestinian factions, Fatah and Hamas, announced Wednesday that they were putting aside years of bitter rivalry to create an interim unity government and hold elections within a year, a surprise move that promised to reshape the diplomatic landscape of the Middle East.

    The deal, brokered in secret talks by the caretaker Egyptian government, was announced at a news conference in Cairo where the two negotiators referred to each side as brothers and declared a new chapter in the Palestinian struggle for independence, hobbled in recent years by the split between the Fatah-run West Bank and Hamas-run Gaza.

    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz… Oh, I'm sorry, was someone saying something about World Peace or the destruction of Israel or something? We couldn't hear it over the sound of ourselves screaming with excitement over the marriage of two insanely rich white people in the country that maybe had something to do with the division of territories in the Middle East, or something?

    Whatevs! WHO BAKED THE CAAAAAKE?!


    Tags: Israel, Kate Middleton, Middle East, Palestine, Prince William, Royalty, United Kingdom

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