• John Edwards Facing Criminal Charges for Being a Criminal

    What-oh! This is not the turn John Edwards and his magnificent hair expected their fabulous life would take: He's facing criminal charges from the Justice Department.

    Why, you ask? Oh, he allegedly used campaign funds to cover up the fact that he was railing some middle-aged New Age blonde groupie

    Mr. Edwards, 57, has been the subject of a two-year investigation into whether he used more than $1 million from political donors to hide his affair while he ran for president in 2008. Investigators have said that the money came from two top donors — Rachel Mellon, the heiress to the Mellon fortune known as Bunny, and Fred Baron, Mr. Edward’s finance chairman, who died in 2008.

    There’s a chance he's getting a sweet plea deal, which he can certainly afford. Remember, this is a dude who built a 28,000 square foot house in North Carolina, for funz. He is disgusting in so many beautiful ways and probably counts them while swimming through his piles of money.

    In case you care, which you don't, his ex-or-current girlfriend Rielle Hunter is gonna be fine. Her crazy ass is shopping a book to publishers, approximately one year after America stopped giving a shit about her creepy sex life.

    All in all, a gross conclusion to a gross story about gross people. Thanks, Johnny!

    Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Crime, John Edwards, Money, Rielle Hunter, Sex


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