Tworld News: Week of May 27, 2011

This week there was a lot of news, and there were a lot of funny tweets. Using our top secret browsing/perusing algorithm, we discovered the rare moments where those two things crossed paths. Your week, tweetified:

It's about time someone made a documentary about Sarah Palin; when is this woman gonna get the media attention she deserves?

The only real mistake Barack Obama made in the presence of the Queen was the 'diplomatic' choice not to use his secretly famous cockney accent when asking for seconds.

Tim Pawlenty 2012: Your average white guy with an average plan. Let's reclaim America for mediocrity. Together. More or less.

Paul Ryan's budget plan deals with health spending but also serves as a comment on spending itself. Who meta-cares, am I right?!

Overall, I had a successful Rapture experience — everyone I know is still here, I'm no longer bound by Earthly possessions, and I have enough minestrone soup to get me through 2012. Thank you, raptor Jesus!

Dick Cheney's autobiography will be 1 part facts, 2 parts exaggeration, and 37 parts 'bwahahahaha!!'

Arnold Schwarzenegger may have to put his acting career on hold while dealing with complicated divorce issues. After those are dealt with, he'll probably have to keep his acting career on hold since he's an absolutely atrocious actor.

Oprah Winfrey takes her final bow. Many people, including my grandmother, highly affected. Other people, not so much affected.

I've said it before and I'll say it again; you just can't trust people with two first names or two last names. You put them in charge of the International Monetary Fund and the next thing you know they're mixed up in a messy sexual assault case that's costing thousands of dollars. Every time. Every single time.

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Tags: Armageddon, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Barack Obama, Dick Cheney, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, Movies, Oprah Winfrey, Paul Ryan, Primaries, Republicans, Sarah Palin, Tim Pawlenty, Tworld News