• Germany Besmirches Honor of Spanish Vegetables

    Ay dios mio! How mad is Spain at Germany for talking shizz on its cucumbers? The answer is "totally, super, overdramatically-mad the way you'd expect a bunch of romantic bullfighters in sparkly sequined outfits to be."

    Seems the spat began when those wacky Teutonic officials blamed imported Spanish cucumbers for the E. coli outbreak that killed nine Germans. Then health experts in Hamburg tested the cukes and discovered that the sensually-shaped yet utterly bland green veggies were innocent. Whoopsies!

    So what does this incident have to do with politics and economics and other important things, exactly? Well, kind of a lot, actually

    Spanish fruit and vegetable exporters are losing as much as 200 million euros ($288 million) a week in sales as consumers avoid the country’s products, according to Begona Jimenez, a spokeswoman for Fepex, which represents producers in Spain.

    Ah, but the question on everyone's mind is, as always, "What does Deputy Prime Minister Alfredo Perez Rubalcaba have to say?!" The answer is this: "A lot of money has been lost, and our image. We don’t rule out taking action against the authorities who cast doubt on the quality of our produce, in this case the authorities in Hamburg."

    Here's a translation for our American audience: "All y'all Hamburglars best watch yo ass 'fore I shove one of my high-quality, totally-not-contaminated-by-feces Spanish cucumbers up it!" Jeez, these Spaniards get HEATED.

    Photo by Sean Gallup/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Food, Germany, Health, Spain


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