• Sarah Palin Cannot Get Out of Jury Duty

    Remember how I was telling you yesterday that whatever reason Sarah Palin had for quitting her bus tour midway through, it was gonna be pretty much the best, not-overtly-bullshit reason ever?

    Well, turns out it's even better than that

    Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin said on Wednesday she was pausing her "One Nation" bus tour to answer the call of jury duty and denied media reports her much-hyped multi-state jaunt had been cut short.

    "The next leg of the tour continues when the time comes," she said in a message posted on Facebook. "In the meantime, no one should jump to conclusions — certainly not the media with their long track record of getting things wrong or just making things up."

    Oh, jury duty! Why didn't I think of that? Of course, that is the most obvious reason why somebody like Sarah Palin would cut short her nationwide, media-scrutinized bus tour. You know how jury duty is constantly gumming up the works for all those political icons and media superstars in the world. Aren't you getting so tired of constantly opening up newspapers to discover that the most famous and influential people in the world are cutting short all their well-laid plans on a dime so that they can return home and attend jury duty? It's practically a cliche at this point, am I right?

    And don't you hate how every time to show up to jury duty, there's always some figurehead for a nationwide political movement sitting right beside you on the bench lazily flipping through a magazine? Grrrrrr! It happens so often so as to become boring!

    For Sarah Palin's sake — actually, for the whole country's sake — I really hope that whatever actual trial Sarah Palin actually get out of sitting through with eleven other actual people isn't something goes on for an actual really long time, like the O.J. Simpson trial. That could seriously put a dent in her non-plans to not un-run for pretend-president.

    Photo by Paul Morigi/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

    Tags: Alaska, Bristol Palin, Primaries, Republicans, Sarah Palin, Transportation, Travel


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