• New York Senate Gives Humans Rights Intended for Humans

    In a narrow and highly anticipated victory, the New York state senate voted 33-29 late Friday night to legalize gay marriage. Same-sex couples throughout New York State will now be legally allowed to participate in an age-old tradition celebrated by humans everywhere in the U.S., except those who are under 18 and cannot unless their parents say so.

    Republican leaders such as Sen. Stephen Saland reverted to using "conscience" with their vote, in some cases in opposition to their constituents’ opinions, making the passage of this bill possible. Sen. Mark Grisanti of Buffalo explained that he studied the issue and chose to take the radical action of "applying reason"

    "As a Catholic, I was raised to believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. I am not here, however, as a senator who is just Catholic. I am also here with a background as an attorney, through which I look at things and I apply reason… I cannot legally come up with an argument against same-sex marriage…

    I cannot deny a person, a human being, a taxpayer, a worker, the people of my district and across this state — the state of New York — and those people who make this state the great state that it is, the same rights that I have have with my wife."

    The only Democrat to vote against the bill was Sen. Ruben Diaz of Bronx County, whose granddaughter is openly gay and has previously spoken at one of his anti-gay rights rallies, claiming that "I am not asking to be married in church, I am simply asking to reinforce my right to marry in a consensual manner with the woman who I love and who I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

    Totally gross!

    Local news channels, sharing Friday’s breaking news in the popular 11pm slot, hurried to Gay Pride Weekend parties throughout the five boroughs, so that home viewers could witness similar yuckiness in celebrations of unabashed joy for finally being acknowledged as full citizens.


    Tags: LGBT, Marriage Equality, New York, State Legislature

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.