Here at Indecision, we pride ourselves on being smarter than the New York Times, trashier than TMZ, and siren-ier than The Drudge Report. So, when we received an anonymously-sent manilla envelope stuffed full with poetry that may or may not have been written by one Michele Bachmann, we decided to do the right thing and print it without hesitation. However, because we are such responsible journalists, we've chosen to withhold some of the information we received (for now, anyway.)
The first offering is a beautifully agonizing expression of Bachmann's struggle with the mainstream media, which has lately been torturing her with accusations (read: facts) about her family farm. The cruel jerks on TV (hi, Anderson Cooper!) and in the newspapers (hi, Los Angeles Times!) and on the inter-webz (hi, Politico!) just can't seem to let go of the fact that the anti-big-government Bachmann denies receiving federal funds for her family's farm (even though federal tax documents show she did.)
A Haiku for the Lamestream Media
Farm subsidies? What?
Time to change the subject. Um…
Gays will eat your kids!
Michele Bachmann is your new Basho. Feel free to leave your own Bachmann-inspired haiku in the comments. And prepare for more beauteous Bachmann verse in the days and weeks to come.
Photo by Steve Pope/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Agriculture, Michele Bachmann, Money, Poetry, Primaries, Republicans