Breaking news! Michele Bachmann's alleged debilitating headaches and alleged reliance on pills are just that — alleged! You will recall, of course, that Indecision reported earlier today on The Daily Caller's salacious, titillating story about Bachmann's migraines, which are rumored to " 'incapacitate' her for days at a time."
Thankfully, all you hardcore MB fans can rest your weary souls, secure in the knowledge that Mrs. Bachmann herself has now released a statement about her brain pain…
"Let me be abundantly clear — my ability to function effectively has never been impeded by migraines and will not affect my ability to serve as commander in chief," Mrs. Bachmann, Republican of Minnesota, said in a statement. She described the headaches as "easily controlled with medication."
The New York Times, which always has to go one step farther than the other guy (show-off!), dialed up her foxy son Lucas, a UConn medical resident "who is pursuing a specialty in psychiatry." Me-ow! Here's what handsome Dr. Lucas had to say…
"She would not in any respect meet the definition for not having capacity in one of these episodes. She is probably not going to run a mile, but in terms of being able to engage, she can comprehend and assess information — without a doubt."
But can we really trust this extremely hot young man? After all, he famously turned down a chance to pose for Playgirl. And history teaches us that the greatest relatives of the greatest conservative candidates do not, in fact, say no to Playgirl.
Anyway, Michele Bachmann is totally fit to serve as president, according to her and the jaw-droppingly luscious piece of mancandy she calls a son, so this story is now officially dead! RIP.
Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Conservatives, Health, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Polls, Porn, Primaries, Republicans