Hey, political nerd! Has your spank bank been feeling a little light of late? Well, fear not! Niche porn publication The Hill wants you to bust one wonky nut all over its 50 Most Beautiful People for 2011 issue!
In no small feat of investigative journalism, the Hill managed to find 50 reasonably attractive humans in the District of Columbia. This scintillating piece of link bait contains profiles on 50 extraordinarily boring adults whose terrible life choices led them to careers on or around Capitol Hill. It is agonizingly painful to attempt to read this entire thing, so we've done some advance work for you. Haha, just kidding — Politico did the work…
The list has 26 Republicans, 16 Democrats, 3 Nonpartisans, 2 Independents, 1 Centrist, 1 "Not Republican," and 1 "GOProud Conservative."
The detailed entries also include little tidbits about each beautiful person, like this one on [Alaska Senator Lisa] Murkowski: "It's in Alaska, however, where she's really in her element. Her online photo gallery shows her in pink fleece and hiking boots, sitting on an overturned bucket while feeding bears at the Alaska Wildlife Conservation Center, and flashing a smile underneath a ski hat, wrapped in a flowing fur coat at the 39th Annual Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race."
If you haven't choken on your own vomit, congratulations! You are now the greatest of all American heroes.
Go out and get yourself something nice from Brooks Brothers or Ann Taylor, the way these HAWT guys 'n' gals do when they're feeling creative.
Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Alaska, Democrats, Lisa Murkowski, Republicans, Senate