• Rep. Steve King Warns of Dystopic Wasteland Future if Women Get Birth Control with No Co-Pay

    Look, it's bad enough that Barack Obama's Affordable Care Act offers people affordable health care, but what's up with this new provision which allows women to get free birth control. Why, that's nothing more than the government-issued pre-abortions for sex-crazed harlots! What's next? Free pedicures and manicures?!*

    Conservatives are understandably dismayed with this new witchery, but none have expressed the grave dangers posed by its implementation better than Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa). A quick warning before you read his words: They just might chill you to the bone

    "They've called it preventative medicine. Preventative medicine. Well if you applied that preventative medicine universally what you end up with is you've prevented a generation.

    "Preventing babies from being born is not medicine. That's not — that's not constructive to our culture and our civilization. If we let our birth rate get down below replacement rate we're a dying civilization."

    It's very hard to argue with that kind of logic. A + B = C, right? Women plus free birth control pills equals the end of all humanity! There is literally no other way to look at this provision other than as a direct affront to all of God's creation.

    We all knew that Barack Obama's motives in securing health care to all Americans was nefarious. But who could have guess that his master plan involved wiping out the human race?

    Come to think of it, I'm sure a lot of Glenn Beck fans were hip to that a while ago.


    * Actual argument actually made by an actual Fox News "expert."

    Photo by Scott J. Ferrell/CQ-Roll Call Group/Getty Images

    Tags: Armageddon, Health, Health Care, House of Representatives, Iowa, Men and Women, Sex, Steve King, Women's Rights


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