• LiveBlog: The GOP Iowa Debate

    11:00 – And that is that. There was some blood, but not nearly enough for my taste. Still plenty of time for that, though. And, hopefully next time, we'll get to see Rick Perry swinging around his big Texas sized beat-down stick with the others. Time for me to wash my brain out with some vodka. have a nice night.

    Let us know who you thought came in second place (I mean, after Rick Santorum, obviously) in the comments.

    10:59 – It's a lot of fun watching people like Jon Huntsman talk about what they're gonna do when they're president. It's like when my 5-year-old niece talks about when she's gonna be a pony.

    10:54 – If there's one thing that Michele Bachmann wants everybody to know before the debate is over, it's that she has no idea how the debt ceiling works.

    10:50 – Wow. All these people are actually going to let Mitt Romney sleepwalk his way through this entire debate without jumping into the mud pit with them?

    10:45 – Is the idea of closing the Fed really in the mainstream now? Because Newt Gingrich talks about it? Is the idea of Newt Gingrich really in the mainstream now?

    10:42 – Damn straight, Jon Huntsman! We've got to end the EPA's "reign of terror." I want to see a return of black lung within my lifetime! That's the American dream!

    10:40 – Concerning Mitt Romney's job record in Massachusetts.

    10:37 – What are the odds that they'll ask Santorum about the abortion he sanctioned for his wife? Is there a number lower than zero?

    10:36 – Michele Bachmann paraphrased: "I have a perfect record of hating gay people, thank you very much."

    10:35 – Gay marriage questions? This is where Rick Santorum is a viking!

    10:34 – Ron Paul's head is kind of exploding about gay marriage/state rights. I smell ozone.

    10:32 – Mitt Romney paraphrased: "No homo."

    10:28 – A better answer to Bachmann's question about being submissive to her husband as president: "Oh, don't worry about him. He's much more interested in making the gardener submissive."

    10:25 – Michele Bachmann has already issued a statement concerning what a little bitch Tim Pawlenty is. How did she do that? Is there where she vanished to earlier? Or is she sending messages to her campaign team through the palpitations of her eyes?

    10:22 – Wait a minute. Did Rick Santorum just attack Iran for its practice of subjugating gay people? Like. for real? I didn't hear people laughing, so it must not have actually happened, right?

    10:20 – Oh, man. Wouldn't you kill to hear a Democrat defend personal freedoms and our justice system with the same ferocity as Ron Paul? Well, I guess there's Dennis Kucinich, but I don't count him because he's Dennis Kucinich.

    10:11 – I'm sorry, but I have nothing jerked-off-ishy to say about Ron Paul's defense of Iran's supposed nuclear program. I'm not sure I agree with it, but it insanely not-insane.

    10:09 – Oh, man. Newt Gingrich is picking another fight with another moderator. They deserve it if you ask me. Where do they get off bringing up things that Newt Gingrich said?

    10:05 – Mitt Romney, have your views changed? — No, I have the same view. Whatever it is that I'm saying right now.

    10:02 – Bachmann paraphrased: "I like Sarah Palin a lot. I will eat her face in a heartbeat."

    10:01 – Michele Bachmann is missing?! Maybe she was Raptured!

    9:56 – Rick Santorum paraphrased: "Those other people all let gay people do gay stuff!"

    9:53 – I never get tired of watching to Mitt Romney dance around Romneycare questions. He's like the Gene Kelly of dancing around Romneycare questions.

    9:50 – Chris Wallace to Tim Pawlenty: Will you please spit in Mitt Romney's face right here on television?
    Tim Pawlenty: Okay, but just a little bit.

    9:47 – Raise your hand if you'd shoot your child in the face before you'd agree to raise taxes by a dollar. All hands go up.

    9:44 – Poor, Rick Santorum. He's like, "When's it my turn to talk? I hate Barack Obama, too!"

    9:42 – Concerning Mitt Romney's love/hate relationship with revenue increases.

    9:40 – Look at Romney. He's already debating Obama. It's almost like he's embarrassed to be up on stage with these idiots.

    9:39 – The only two people whom I believe believe the words that are coming out of their mouths are Ron paul and Michele Bachmann. Unfortunately, the things they're saying are unbelievable.

    9:37 – How nice of Newt Gingrich to answer the question that lady asked him. See? He's a magnanimous guy.

    9:34 – Romney is talking like a guy who's pretty certain he's gonna be living in the White House soon. Is anybody going to be able to ruffle up that perfectly quaffed hair? (And not Pawlenty. Somebody who doesn't reek of Willie Loman.)

    9:32 – Herman Cain paraphrased: "How dare you ask about things I said instead of things on my press releases?"

    9:29 – Wow, this government is getting bloody. I was expecting the candidates to fight with each other. I didn't think they'd fight with the moderators for asking questions.

    9:27 – Newt Gingrich is gotcha-ing Chris Wallace for his "gotcha" questions. Really! Why can't they guy just asking him about what Ronald Reagan was really like.

    9:18 - Whoa! Bachmann and Pawlenty are really going at it. One genuinely crazy person and one trying to pretend to be crazy. But, you know what? You cannot beat genuine crazy. Just look at her. She brought up the Light Bulb Freedom of Choice Act as a point of pride.

    9:17 - And then he turns right around and slaps Michele Bachmann right in her "non-existent" record. Did somebody give him one of Bradley Cooper's magic pills?

    9:14 – Oh, and Mitt Romney sustains his first hit, and from Tim Pawlenty. You know he was back stage psyching himself up in the mirror to say something mean about him. "You're T-Paw! You are a badass!"

    9:13 – Tim Pawlenty paraphrased: "Will work for attention."

    9:12 - Newt Gingrich paraphrased: "I knew Ronald Reagan."

    9:11 – Jon Huntsman paraphrased: "Wait, what? I was supposed to have a policy?"

    9:10 – Herman Cain paraphrased: "There's still some money not in CEO's pockets. We gotta fix that."

    9:07 – "Look, I'm not gonna eat Barack Obama's dog food." Well, of course not, if it's sitting up there on top of the car. It's dangerous up there.

    9:05 - Mittness Protection Agency! Ha!

    9:02 – So, Bachmann's really holding onto that anti-raising the debt ceiling meme, huh? Glad to see she's planting her crazy flag straight off.

    9:00 - Let's get reeeeeaaaaaadddyyyyyyyy to deeeeeeeebbbaaaaaaaaaaaaattteee!

    ———————

    Tonight is when it all happens everybody!

    Tonight's the night that Michele Bachmann shows Iowa Republicans that — despite every single thing that she has ever said up until this point — she is in fact a serious politician!

    Tonight's the night that Ron Paul drops so much outlier libertarian wisdom that Hawkeye conservatives realize they'd be nothing more than crazy rambling old coots to ignore him!

    Tonight's the night that Mitt Romney shows that he can say as little as is allowed under the rules of the debate and still win the Republican nomination handily!

    Tonight's the night that Newt Gingrich will move an additional 10,000 units of his new book A Nation Like No Other, available in hardback from Regnery Publishing for just $17.70!

    Tonight's the night that Tim Pawlenty proves conclusively that he is a candidate who… is capable of… inspiring… excitement(?)… or something… in the hearts of voters!

    Tonight's the night that Rick Santorum, Herman Cain, Jon Huntsman and Gary Johnson will finally show that they are more than just after-thought candidates suitable for being lumped together and dismissed out of hand as a bunch of sad sacks who have less than zero percent chance of winning anything more than a free sandwich at Subway!

    Tonight's the night!

    Tune in to Fox News on tonight at 9/8c — and follow along right here in this post on Indecision as well as on our Twitter feed @TheInDecider — to be a part of history in the making!*

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    * May not actually be history in the making.


    Tags: Gary Johnson, Herman Cain, Iowa, Iowa Straw Poll, Jon Huntsman, Liveblog, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Tim Pawlenty, Twitter

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