• Muammar Qaddafi Loves Loves Loves Condoleezza Rice

    Well, the bad news is that Libyan dictator/fashion maven/performance artist Muammar Qaddafi has completely lost control of his country and has been forced into hiding.

    But the good news is that he now has the time to spend all the rest of his days lazing in a verdant field with his one true love

    The ransacking of Moammar Gadhafi's compound is turning up some bizarre loot. Following on from the Libyan leader's eccentric fashion accessories and his daughter's golden mermaid couch, the latest discovery is a photo album filled with page after page of pictures of Condoleezza Rice

    In a 2007 interview with al-Jazeera television, Gadhafi spoke of Rice in glowing terms. "I support my darling black African woman," he said. "I admire and am very proud of the way she leans back and gives orders to the Arab leaders… Leezza, Leezza, Leezza… I love her very much. I admire her and I'm proud of her because she's a black woman of African origin."

    Okay, first, they're gonna get married. In a ginormous palace made of Starlight Mints. And the ceremony will be attended by exactly 1,000 ponies of multitudinous hues. (Not 999 or 1,001 — 1,000 exactly!) And Condoleezza will be devastatingly beautiful in her pink chiffon wedding dress. And Muammar will be devastatingly handsome in his pink chiffon wedding dress. And then they'll live together in a castle built on top of a cloud. Forever and ever and ever in blissful happiness. And then Muammar will be elected Dictator of the World and he will crush all those who deposed him beneath his iron spiked gauntlet. And Muammar and Condoleezza will laugh.

    Oh, how they will laugh.

    Tags: Condoleezza Rice, Libya, Muammar Qaddafi


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