• Barack Obama Gives Up Full Day of Golf in Preparation of The Great Hurricane Irene of Aught-Eleven

    Oh… my… God!

    You know, I wasn't really paying much heed to the warnings about this hurricane that's coming to supposedly wash New York City into the sea and leave the entire East Coast under thirteen feet of water.

    But I don't know, man. Shit just got real!

    President Obama will cut short his Martha's Vineyard vacation Friday night in order to get back to Washington before Hurricane Irene marches up the East Coast.

    Obama had been scheduled to leave the island retreat Saturday after a nine-day vacation. But after delivering a statement Friday morning in which he warned residents to "be prepared for the worst," he took preparations into his own hands.

    White House principal deputy press secretary Josh Earnest announced the schedule change early Friday afternoon. He said the president was making sure he stays ahead of the storm, both for personal reasons and to get back to work on hurricane preparations.

    Obama is walking away from the golf course a day early?! Jesus Christ! This storm must be a cataclysm wrapped in an Armageddon inside an Apocalypse!!! Is it 2012 yet, because this is gonna be The Big One! (I'm comin', Elizabeth! I'm comin' to join you!*)

    First the earthquake which must surely have caused untold hundreds of dollars in Hummel damage. And now this vacation-destroying hurricane? Please, Pat Robertson, tell what we did to so displease your tribal war deity. Tell us, please!

    Everybody, please be careful this weekend. And remember: If you see a hurricane, say a hurricane. Or something.

    .

    * You probably don't get this reference. I'm aware of this.


    Tags: Barack Obama, Golf, Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts, Natural Disasters, Sports, Weather

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