Hey, you guys! Did you know Newt Gingrich is still running for president? He is! He totally is! He's also running for King of Blameistan on an innovative "the media sucks ass" platform, as evidenced by his feisty ripostes over at the ol' Ronnie Reagan Biblioteca recently.
Thanks to the laziness of the lamestream media, which hasn't adequately covered his every boring, crotchety move, Newtles isn't getting every snippet of attention he and Callista would like. And this gives Newt a sadz…
"I have people tell me on a regular basis, 'Gee, are you still running?'" he said, responding to a question from a dispirited supporter asking why the campaign was faring so poorly. Gingrich blamed the press for his predicament, his favorite target in the last two debates as well.
"The elite media decided in June, July that I was too conservative, too aggressive, and decided I was out of the race," he said, calling the coverage "self-fulfilling."
Yes, it's because of the "elite media" that Newt's cantankerous rhetoric hasn't melted America's panties. Surely it is not the fact that he doesn't inspire enough excitement among the voting populace. And it's definitely not because Rick Perry is so sizzlingly sexxxay.
Somewhere, right now, Callista is eyeing a bauble in the front window at Jared's and remembering the good ol' days, before her hubby set off on this fool's errand.
Photo by Brendan Smialowski/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Callista Gingrich, Newt Gingrich