• Barack Obama Will Save Your Rural Job

    Noted farmer and NASCAR fan Barack Obama is out to save rural jobs in America. Because of his close, personal ties to people who till the soil in the rooftop gardens of their Manhattan penthouses, he is throwing a great deal of money ($6.2 billion since 2009, to be precise) at this problem.

    But are his efforts in vain?

    [C]ritics say the administration has little to show for its efforts, which highlight the difficulties of creating jobs in remote areas. They say the money has gone to areas where it is not needed, to promote broadband where it already exists and for industrial parks designed to attract business and jobs that may never materialize.

    What these "critics" do not understand is that an industrial park that never ends up housing any industry is a great future demolition project for rural demolition crews.

    Also, since we all know rural people are simple, adorable types, do they really need jobs more advanced than "Wal-Mart greeter #2" and "oil change man"? No, of course not! They can live off the fat of the land, maybe raise some rabbits to roast over an oil can fire along with their delicious expired beans.

    The flyover states are so dang cute, aren't they?

    Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Barack Obama, Money, Unemployment


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