From the Pork Barrel: Rick Perry Has Israel's Back

* Rick Perry: "As a Christian I have a clear directive to support Israel" so that it can be destroyed to support End Times prophesies.

* Rick Perry "ignores reality," says future Republican frontrunner Rick Santorum.

* $16 muffins served at Justice Department conference. Sounds bad until you hear about the $300K computer-guided sidewinder pretzels they're serving over in the Defense Department.

* Dick Cheney "worried" about U.S. leaving Afghanistan. Apparently, he stays up late at night fretting over worldwide non-suffering.

* Michele Bachmann makes yet another positive contribution to civilization.

Tags: Afghanistan, Armageddon, Christianity, Dick Cheney, Food, Israel, Michele Bachmann, Military, Money, Pork Barrel, Primaries, Religion, Republicans, Rick Perry