Look, before we go any further, let's just get one thing straight. Florida is a loose canon. You think you can control Florida, but you can't control Florida. They don't call it The GTA: Vice City State for nothing.*
In clear violation of the national RNC rules — which state (and I'm both paraphrasing and making up a quote here) "Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada and South Carolina are the only states that get to hold their primaries prior to March 6 and should get to decide who will be the next Republican presidential nominee and all the other states can just go suck it" — Florida has decided to set its primary date on January 31, ahead of all other 49 states…
Florida made its plans to hold its Republican presidential primary on Jan. 31 official on Friday, setting off a reshuffling of the primary calendar as early states scramble to move up their contests to protect their cherished statuses…
The move makes it all but assured that Florida will lose half of its delegates at the GOP National Convention — ironically being held next year in Tampa, Fla.
But those who want Florida to have more weight in the nominating process argue that the attention garnered by holding its primary so early outweighs the importance of the actual convention — they say by the time delegates are seated in August, it is likely to already be clear who the nominee will be, as has been the case for decades.
You know, some people might be shocked by this decision of Florida's but I'm not. This is exactly the kind of thing I'd expect from a state that has such lax social mores against decapitating hookers with katanas, bazooka-ing police helicopters out of the sky and electing people like Rick Scott and Marco Rubio to higher office.
* May not actually be called The GTA: Vice City** State.
** This effectively represents the end-point of my cultural understanding of video games.
Tags: Florida, Iowa, Nevada, New Hampshire, Primaries, Republicans, RNC, South Carolina