From the Pork Barrel: 9-9-9

* Herman Cain's 9-9-9 plan looks like it would probably be pretty damaging to poor people, which, you know, really just serves them right for choosing to be so goddamned poor.

* If you like Sean Penn, you're probably a Democrat. If you like Jon Voight, you're probably a Republican. If you like Taylor Lautner, you've probably suffered a severe head trauma, possibly in, like, a really bad car accident or something.

* Barack Obama is the loneliest POTUS in the whole entire country.

* Shed a tear, gentle reader, for Bocephus, proud champion of Godwin's Law, for he shall never again find himself ready for some or any amount of football.

Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Adolf Hitler, Barack Obama, Democrats, Economy, Football, Hank Williams Jr., Herman Cain, Music, Pork Barrel, Primaries, Republicans, Sports, Television