• LiveBlog: Lucky Number Ninth Republican Debate from Las Vegas

    9:53 – So, what do you think? Lots of blood on the mat, but I'm not sure whose it is. Well, clearly a lot of it is Perry's. But I think Cain and Romney were pretty gashed as well. And how about Santorum. He came with a really sharp sword.

    What do you think? Who won? Or, who lost the least?

    9:52 – It's over? Where's this cake that Bachmann promised?

    9:51 – Michele Bachmann: "I am the most different candidate from Barack Obama than anyone on this stage." Well put.

    9:50 – Santorum is currently polling #3 behind Romney and Perry in Pennsylvania.

    9:45 - @TheInDecider: "Rick Santorum: 'I'm gonna be the president of Pennsylvania, just you wait and see!'#CNNDebate"

    9:40 – Someone has to take that footage of Rick Santorum stumbling over a defense of Ronald Reagan's Iran-Contra deal and loop it into a 24-hour video that can play on its own television station.

    9:39 - @skyobarn: "Michelle Bachmann is off her game because she’s mad that Captain Stubing is making her work the Lido deck."

    9:37 - House Republicans are already on the 'defund the UN' bandwagon.

    9:36 – Did Romney just trick some Republicans into clapping for the Chinese?

    9:35 – Seriously, everybody. Let's start having a serious conversation about letting the entire rest of the world just suck it.

    9:34 – Wait, what? We can only blow up the world 25 times? But what if we need to blow it up 30 times? What if?!

    9:31 – Herman Cain paraphrased: "We need a policy in which we do not negotiating with terrorists. Having said that, here's how we should negotiate with these terrorists."

    9:30 - @michaelbd: "I'm angry that Romney is suggesting that we can't PRIVATELY have totally idiotic reasons for voting one way or another."

    9:27 – I missed that. Whose severed leg was Gingrich trying to buy?

    9:25 - @TheInDecider: "'I've been endowed by my Creator' #NewtGingrichPickupLines #CNNDebate"

    9:22 – "How can I trust your judgement if you have no faith?" – Newt Gingrich

    Here's another way of saying that: "How can I trust your judgement if you choose to make your decisions based upon evidence?"

    9:19 – Be careful, guys, with this Mormon question. You're in Nevada.

    9:14 - @ChaseRoper: "I'm feverishly taking notes of this debate so I can work up a spec script and pitch it as Saw VIII. #tweetthepress #GOPdebate"

    9:09 – This isn't the first time rick perry's had to defend his position on TARP.

    9:08 – Does anyone know how many children Michele Bachmann has?

    9:07 – Whoa! Herman Cain just admitted to being in favor of TARP. That's almost as bad as if used to be in favor of the number 8.

    9:05 – Rick Santorum is gonna get his ass kicked back stage afterwards.

    9:04 - @shannynmoore: "Dear Michele Bachmann, is it cool to abort a gay anchor baby? I'm asking for someone else. #tweetthepress"

    8:59 - @Watectric: "Herman Cain's message to Germanic voters: NEIN NEIN NEIN. #CNNDebate"

    8:58 - @TheInDecider: "Herman Cain's message to Latino voters: nueve nueve nueve. #CNNDebate"

    8:56 – Herman Cain's response to every question paraphrased: "Nine nine nine."

    8:55 - @pattonoswalt: "What would the GOP say to the Latino community? 'After you drop Chandler off at school, could you get the dry cleaning?' #GOPDebate"

    8:51 – Mitt Romney's fuckin' immigration magnets. How do they work?

    8:49 – Michele Bachmann should just come out and promise to fire a wave motion canon at anyone who attempts to cross the border.

    8:46 – I wanna know which of these candidates is willing to promise a border moat full of piranhas and rabid cougars.

    8:45 – Mitt Romney is totally going to cry.

    8:43 – Rick Perry is sort of right.

    8:42 – Someone's gonna get punched, yo.

    8:40 – Do you think there's any problem that the free market can't fix? And how can I get the free market to make my pound cake more fluffy?

    8:39 – Ron Paul thinks we have too much health care in the country. I agree! Also, too many smart people!

    8:33 – I'm glad they decided to eschew the original idea of throwing these people in a cage with a hand full of garden tools. This is much more entertaining!

    8:30 – Wow. Rick Santorum sure is good at calling out other people on their bullshit.

    8:29 – Good strategy on Santorum's part. Just talk over everyone else's time. If he can just keep that going till next November.

    8:27 – Mitt Romney's looking at Rick Santorum like he finally googled his name earlier today.

    8:25 – Ronald Reagan's tax plan had a higher rate structure than we currently do.

    8:24 – Do you guys remember when Republicans used to be anti-taxes?

    8:22 - @joshuamcgee0325: "Herman Cain needs to stop with the 'Apples and Oranges,' he should switch to 'Pizza and Calzones' @TheInDecider"

    8:19 – Herman Cain really is getting it from all ends. So, this is why they decided to do this in Vegas. I think that's the last place where that kind of thing is legal.

    8:17 – "It is not acceptable to mix apples with oranges." Oh, so now Herman Cain is a segregationist when it comes to fruit. Now it all comes out.

    8:16 – For once, Rick Santorum is making sense.

    8:14 – Herman Cain paraphrased: "Pay no attention to those numbers behind the curtain."

    8:12 – I'm Michele Bachmann, and I captained a nuclear submarine through the desert to get here. Also, I have 57 children.

    8:10 – Mitt Romney's internal monologue: "Smile. Smile. Smile. Smilesmilesmilesmile. Smile!!!"

    8:05 – Looks like Jon Huntsman is the only one who made good on his promise to not get invited to boycott the debate.

    8:03 – Oh… This is a Western Republican Presidential Debate. That means there'll be a spittoon round, right?

    8:00 – Oh awesome! Another CNN short snuff film intro.


    Tags: CNN, Debates, Herman Cain, Las Vegas, Liveblog, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Nevada, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.