• The Western Republican Debate/Brawl Winners and Losers

    In an exciting development for the struggling producers of such American classics as Thunderbird, Cisco and Wild Irish Rose, the Republican presidential candidates held their ninth debate in Las Vegas, Nevada, a city suffering from some of the highest unemployment and foreclosure rates in the country. The winners and losers, in gloriously objective alphabetical order…

    The Losers:

    Michele Bachmann said this: "The president, he put us in Libya. He is now putting us in Africa. We already were stretched too thin, and he put our special operations forces in Africa." But can she see Uganda, where the U.S. has deployed 100 special forces operatives, from her house?

    Herman Cain was attacked from all sides

    The first to feel the assault was the front-runner of the moment, Herman Cain, who is struggling to prove that he is a serious contender and not merely another evanescent phenom of this election season. He was thrown on the defense by new criticism of his signature '9-9-9' tax overhaul plan, which an independent analysis released shortly before the debate indicated would be a boon to the wealthy and put a significantly heavier burden on lower- and middle-income Americans.

    Cain defended his proposal by pointing to an analysis conducted by Fiscal Associates, Inc. of Virginia, a firm directed by a longtime supporter of a national sales tax. The 10-page analysis is emblazoned with the word "draft" and doesn't include a single distributional table, so…you know can trust it.

    Newt Gingrich won the debate according to some lady named Sarah Palin. Did not win the debate according to those of us who inhabit reality.

    Ron Paul made a serious points about the costs of American empire. Unfortunately, had to make those points in conversation with Rick Santorum, which is enough to ruin anyone's day.

    "Rick Perry ate his wheaties. Unfortunately, he mixed them with Nonsense Juice." – Dave Weigel, and 'roids, definitely some steroids.

    Mitt Romney is still showing too much evidence of being a somewhat competent technocrat to secure the nomination.

    Rick Santorum is still invited to these things?

    And the Winners:

    Gary Johnson. Gary Johnson won.

    Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: CNN, Debates, Gary Johnson, Herman Cain, Las Vegas, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Nevada, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul

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