From the Pork Barrel: Rick Santorum, the Willing Martyr

* Rick Santorum says that he would gladly give his life to prevent gay marriage. Not exactly sure how that would work. Like, maybe he'd die swallowing the pen the President was going to use to sign the gay marriage bill?

* Condoleezza Rice wistfully recalls the night Muammar Qaddafi invited her back to his fuck tent.

* Old man McCain tells those kids to quit fighting or else.

* Steve Jobs offers his auguries for President Obama from beyond the pale of death.

* Whoops! Looks like the Koch Brothers accidentally paid for real climate science. I'll bet their faces are red!

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Barack Obama, Charles Koch, Climate Change, Condoleezza Rice, David Koch, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Muammar Qaddafi, Pork Barrel, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Science & Technology, Steve Jobs