• Comedian Rand Paul Censored by Fear of Harassment Charges

    Libertarian boy-wonder Rand Paul took to National Review Online yesterday to blast Politico for reporting the news. Specifically, the news that Republican frontrunner and possible future-President Herman Cain may have a habit of making inappropriate sexual remarks to female underlings.

    Paul knows the dangers of "reporting" on "news" first-hand

    "In my election, I had an anonymous girl from college — who I still don't know — make accusations against me," he tells National Review Online. "I don’t think you should print stuff like that. To libel someone's character and not put your name on it, I think is inappropriate and shouldn’t be printed."

    I know, Rand. It's so annoying when the people who make our laws are accused of violating them and other people want to tell the public about it. Newspapers should really stop all this so-called news-gathering and just focus on abolishing the Fed, public education, fire departments, puppies, and happiness.

    As Paul notes, this "harassment” nonsense has even started to destroy comedy. Won't someone think of the dick jokes?

    "There are people now who hesitate to tell a joke to a woman in the workplace, any kind of joke, because it could be interpreted incorrectly," [Paul] says. "I don't. I'm very cautious."

    You see, Rand Paul isn’t just a senator. He's a jokesmith, an artist, a cutting-edge comedian. He strives to speak truth to power, where truth is a dirty limerick and power is his administrative assistant. So let's get rid of all these government rules about sexual harassment and just let the invisible hand of the free market feel up our secretaries.

    Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Primaries, Rand Paul, Republicans, Scandalgate, Senate


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