Just now, Herman Cain — standing in front of all of the American flags in Scottsdale, Arizona — spoke to the press and set them straight on a number of points…
* Herman Cain is completely innocent and has, in fact, "never acted inappropriately with anybody. Period!" He prides himself on his lifelong perfect record of appropriateness.
* The reason that all these allegations are coming out now is not because of any sort of serial behavior on his point, but because there are certain people who do not want to see a businessman in the White House. Common mistake.
* This is all being orchestrated by "the Democratic machine," who apparently do not want an easy pathway to a second term for Barack Obama. You know how self-hating liberals can be.
* He "would absolutely" subject himself to a lie detector test. Except that he is not going to. Probably because during those test, people ask you questions, and as he pointed out about answering questions: "I'm not gonna get caught in that trap."
* Herman Cain is "not an expert in how the brain works." For that, you'll have to get a neurologist in the White House. But, oh, just wait until you see the guns the Democratic machine pulls out for that dude.
Photo by Eric Thayer/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Herman Cain, Primaries, Republicans, Scandalgate, Sharon Bialek