9:51 – Time to stop debate drinking and start after-debate drinking. Thanks for following along with me here. I really hope to hang out with each of you when President Santorum tosses us en masse into the Lake of Sulfur.
Let me know what you thought of the debate in the comments.
9:50 – It's over? Already?! But that only felt like 17 hours and 50 minutes.
9:49 - @JohnFugelsang: "And the last GOP President to balance a budget was……?"
9:46 – Jim Cramer has broken free of his shackles and is asking questions again! Call the national guard! Do not take pictures! It just makes him louder!
9:43 – I just had a mental image of all eight candidates sewn together into a giant Human Centipede. I think I would vote for that candidate.
9:38 - @bengreenman: "I think Cain's practice of incessantly branding 9-9-9 is going to backfire, except among voters with repetition compulsion."
9:37 – Cain's answer to any question is "999." Is he trying to be a joke?
9:32 – So, Newt's plan for having students come into a college and work for their share of education. I like that. He should write that down in a book. A little one. Maybe put a snazzy red cover on it.
9:31 – Rick Perry remembered! I knew he would!
9:26 - @daveweigel: "Maybe Huntsman shouldn't spend 80% of every answer explaining that he's about to answer."
9:24 – Jon Huntsman is talking again. The last time he talked was 30 minutes ago. I'll bet you CNBC thinks he's gonna be president someday.
9:23 – From the comments: "Can I get 30 minutes of Jim Cramer and Ron Paul shouting at each other. Make it pay per view, I don't care." (SatansLollipop)
9:22 – Mitt Romney paraphrased: "I don't wanna take your money. I just wanna take away your stuff."
9:20 – I really enjoy Newt Gingrich's version of history. It's so exotic!
9:19 – Oh my god! Jim Cramer's been replaced with Martin Landau. I wanna hear him call Newt Gingrich a "cocksucker."
9:18 – Herman Cain would never forget one of the three 9s in his 999 plan.
9:17 – Rick Perry remembered two-thirds of his big point. That's really good for a drunk guy.
9:14 – Why does anybody care what the CEO of a bunch of caterpillars thinks? His entire workforce is just gonna fly away in a few weeks.
9:13 – I apologize for the vile nature of that last comment. I don't know what came over me. I'm not usually that graphic.
9:12 – You know, I'll bet that Maria Bartiromo is the same height as my wife… if you know what I mean.
9:08 - @lafix: "CNBC uses their commercial time to make sure no one ever tunes in to CNBC ever again. #tweetthepress"
9:06 – Ron Paul paraphrased: "The mortgages are too damn high!"
9:05 – Is that Lindsay Lohan in the front row of the audience? Seems unlikely. This has to be too degrading an event for her to attend.
9:03 – Oh my God! I think I just broke my nose on this wall I just hit on caring about what anybody is saying in this debate.
9:01 – Rick Santorum: "This is I think the difference between me and a lot of the other candidates up here." Universally despised?
8:54 – Newt Gingrich was right: He was never a lobbyist. Mostly because he never officially registered as one.
8:52 – Oh, look. Jon Huntsman gets to talk. Must be ten minutes for the end of the hour.
8:51 – Can you imagine if one of these people on stage had a good chance of running this country? Wouldn't that be crazy? Hahahahaha… ha… ha… Wait.
8:48 - @squibble: "Fannies cause mental retardation. -Bachmann #tweetthepress"
8:45 – Romney wants to "reboot" the economy. Ugh! It'll probably end up with some shitty dubstep soundtrack next time around.
8:44 – Where did Jim Cramer go? Did somebody put him back in his crate?
8:41 – I predict that in the 2016 primaries, the debates will happen every three days, and they'll last 72 hours.
8:36 – Michele Bachmann says everyone can afford to pay the equivalent of two Happy Meals in taxes. What about all those people who don't deserve to eat Happy Meals?
8:35 – The reason Mitt Romney doesn't have a flat tax plan is he's campaigning in the general election, while everyone else is campaigning in the GOP primary.
8:31 – Rick Santorum is looking particularly shiny tonight. He must be freshly polished.
8:29 – It's a shame that Newt Gingrich went into politics. He would have made a brilliant cranky dismissive comic book store clerk.
8:27 – Wow. Mitt Romney just gave a fantastic speech in favor of his good friends the corporations.
8:24 – Somebody off camera just said "Aaaaawwww… sh–" and caught himself at the last second. I like to believe it was Sen. Clay Davis from The Wire.
8:22 – Wow. CNBC didn't even try to wrap a Cain harassment question up in a thin veneer of economics.
8:20 - We do have one of the world's highest corporate income tax rates, but thanks to all the loopholes, U.S. corporations don't pay much more than corporations in other countries. Well, the ones who pay anything.
8:18 – Michele Bachmann: "Taxes lead to jobs leaving the country." – Jesus! Can you imagine how bad things were back when corporations had to pay taxes?
8:14 – Mitt Romney says that he's totally consistent on the issues. Well, he says that now.
8:13 – Mitt Romney says he cares about Michigan like no one else on that stage. I believe him. That's where he was built.
8:08 – Hahahaha! Who's that in the Jim Cramer make-up? That's a really funny impression. A little broad for a debate, but funny none the less.
8:05 – Herman Cain: "This administration has done nothing but put stuff in the caboose." Does he mean that as a good thing or a bad thing?
8:04 – "The smartest people on CNBC. First up, Jim Cramer." Wow, that joke formulated itself pretty fucking fast.
8:03 – I'll bet Rick Perry is taking it easy tonight. Maybe just a little mescaline to take the edge off.
8:00 – I'm willing to bet money that at least one candidate is going to suggest we send troops invade and occupy the U.S. economy indefinitely.
Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Herman Cain, Jon Huntsman, Liveblog, Michele Bachmann, Michigan, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul