It's normally my policy to avoid linking to snuff films, but in this case it only involves the death of a political campaign, and it's hilarious, and um, uh, what's the third thing here, let's see…I can't. The third one, I can't.
But for the skittish, here's how the Rick Perry campaign went to "a better place." While answering a softball question about job creation during last night's debate in Michigan, Perry turned to Rep. Ron Paul and explained that just like the congressman, he too wanted to eliminate several Cabinet-level departments…
Perry: "It's three agencies of government when I get there that are gone: Commerce, Education and the, uh, what's the third one there, let's see… "
Ron Paul: "Five….
Perry: "Oh, five, okay, so Commerce, Education and the … uh … uh."
Moderator John Harwood: "EPA?"
Perry: "EPA, there you go."
Harwood: "Seriously, is EPA the one you were talking about?"
Perry: "No sir, no sir. We were talking about agencies of government. EPA needs to be rebuilt. No doubt about that."
Harwood: "But you can't name the third one?"
Perry: "The third agency of government I would do away with, the Education, the uh, Commerce. Let's see. I can't. The third one I can't. Sorry. Oops."
There's some good news here. Not for the Perry campaign, which although it's being a good sport about the gaffe as it asks supporters "what part of the Federal Government would you like to forget about the most," faces a potentially fatal exodus of fundraisers. But there's good news for humanity.
First, if there's any way to bend the space-time continuum, we're going to find out shortly. You just know Tim Pawlenty is in his garage right now, working out quantum entanglement, assembling his time machine. Seriously, he dropped out of this field?
Second, should Mitt Romney ever donate his body to science, we're going to discover the secret to fortune and dumb luck. There are jackpot winners who are Gil Gunderson compared to Mitt Romney. This dude is less lucky than Mitt Romney. There hasn't been a politician with better electoral fortune than Romney since…since some guy drew Alan Keyes as an opponent in an Illinois Senate race.
Finally, imagine it's 2013. The president is in the oval office, calling Benjamin Netanyahu to persuade the Israeli Prime Minister to call off a pre-emptive strike against the Iranian nuclear program. Minutes later, he or she will be on the phone with Vladimir Putin, trying to cajole the Russian leader to support a UN Security Council Resolution authorizing further sanctions against Iran.
Now, close your eyes and imagine that president is Rick Perry. Then, watch this clip again and be grateful it shall never come to pass.
Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Debates, Mitt Romney, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Perry, Tim Pawlenty