• Mitt Romney Is Just a Regular Joe Robber Baron

    That Mitt Romney, he's such a regular down-home guy. Real salt of the earth. Made his fortune like any other red-blooded American, with just a shovel, a pile of dirt and Bain Capital, a billion-dollar private equity firm run by fellow Harvard M.B.A.’s

    From 1984 to 1999, Mr. Romney and his deputies made fortunes by investing in, acquiring and then selling about 150 companies…

    Bain and a small group of investors bought Dade [International, a medical company,] in 1994 with mostly borrowed money, limiting their risk. They extracted cash from the company at almost every turn — paying themselves nearly $100 million in fees, first for buying the company and then for helping to run it. Later, just after Mr. Romney stepped down from his role, Bain took $242 million out of the business in a transaction that, according to bankruptcy documents and several former Dade officials, weakened the company.

    It's hard to believe small-town Republicans don't want to vote for this guy. With his long history of bankrupting companies and firing all their workers, Mitt Romney sounds like the kind of guy you'd want to sit down and throw your beer at.

    He's just a regular Jo(sephus Cornelius IV, Esquire). He puts his diamond-encrusted pants on one massaged leg at a time, just like the rest of us. With the help of a faithful manservant.

    Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Economy, Mitt Romney, Primaries, Republicans

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.