* Michele Bachmann's Iowa campaign chair foresees a horrible dystopian future in which women marry national monuments and nobody knows how to pronounce words like "polyamory," much less be mindlessly terrified of them.
* Elizabeth Warren is the new Barack Obama. Which means we'll all be overcome with despair at the mere mention of her name in about three years.
* Mitt Romney has traveled to the dark side and made it back to tell the harrowing tale.
* Who wants to dress up as an unemployed foreclosure lawyer for Thanksgiving?!?!
Tags: Alcohol, Barack Obama, Elizabeth Warren, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Massachusetts, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Primaries, Republicans, Senate, Smoking