• New Allegations May Rob America of Its Herman Cain Candidacy

    Herman Cain's roller coaster presidential campaign — which has somehow managed to weather Herman Cain as a presidential candidate for several months now — may actually be brought down by brand new allegations of sexual misconduct.

    According to Cain — in a conference call this morning with the media that is trying to destroy him — a bunch of women accusing him of stuff is acceptable. But a bunch of women plus one accusing him of stuff… Well, that might be a little bit of an issue

    "Obviously, you're all aware of this recent firestorm that hit the news yesterday," Cain began, his voice somber. "First thing I want to do is say to you what I have said publicly: I deny those charges, unequivocally… [I]t was a just a friendship relationship."

    "That being said, obviously, this is cause for reassessment," he continued. "As you know, during the summer we had to make some reassessments based upon our financial situation. We were able to hang in there; we reassessed the situation and kept on going…"

    "Now, with this latest one, we have to do an assessment as to whether or not this is going to create too much of a cloud, in some people's minds, as to whether or not they would be able to support us going forth," Cain said."

    He might not be able to go forth? Might not be able to go forth?! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

    Please don't let this be happening! Please don't let this be happening! Please don't let this be happening!

    We already lost one Sarah Palin. Can we really afford to lose a second one?


    Tags: Ginger White, Herman Cain, Primaries, Republicans, Scandalgate, Sex

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.