* This is what you might call the 99% and the media's "meet cute" moment. You'd never guess it, but they eventually fall in love and stop a bomb from exploding inside a volcano.
* And here's the 1% and Barack Obama's "meet hideous" moment. They will eventually both drown to death beneath a raging waterfall, their cold dead hands wrapped around each other's neck.
* Rick Perry promises to send bureaucrats to a "God-awful place." Nice to see that he still takes an interest in boosting tourism in Texas.
* Mitt Romney has never flip-flopped. Except for that time that he flip-flopped.
* Actual headline: "Miami's Federal Prison Plagued by Strippers Posing as 'Legal Assistants'" Probably couldn't get them to pose as actual lawyers because it would have been too degrading.
* On a related note, a Colorado sheriff has just become the country's first eponymous resident.
Tags: Abortion, Barack Obama, Florida, Mitt Romney, Occupy Wall Street, Pork Barrel, Primaries, Prison, Republicans, Rick Perry