• Herman Cain, Bless His Heart, Isn't Going Anywhere

    It sure has been a tough couple days. I was walking around, going about my business as best I could, but there always a nagging dysphoria in the back of my head. I'd take a moment to try and think about where that sadness was coming from, and then it would hit me right in my gut all over again: Herman Cain is reassessing his candidacy.

    It's hard to believe that somebody whom I had never even heard of a few short months ago could suddenly become such an integral part of my life. I honestly cannot imagine the despair of a Herman Cain-less existence at this point. And if Cain's behavior in Dayton, Ohio are of any indication, it looks like I might not have to worry about that for a good long while

    [N]othing in Mr. Cain's actions on Wednesday suggested that he would halt his campaign as he engaged in a whirlwind day of campaigning around Ohio and in New Hampshire.

    "They want you to believe that we can't do this," he told a few hundred supporters gathered in a hotel ballroom in Dayton on Wednesday morning. "They want you to believe that with enough character assassination on me, I will drop out!"

    The audience shouted, "No!" and "Don't go!"

    Mr. Cain seemed delighted. "Well, the American people have a different idea," he said. "The American people are going to raise some Cain in 2012!"

    Oh, it's like delicious mass-produced pizza for my soul. It even came with a brand new Cain-ism topping: "Stupid people are ruining America."

    We know, Herman Cain! Oh how we know! In fact, we're counting on it!

    Photo by Bill Pugliano/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Ginger White, Herman Cain, Primaries, Republicans, Scandalgate, Sex

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