• Newt Gingrich: Patron Saint of Internet Porn

    Thrice-married balloon-faced GOP frontrunners named Newt — they’re just like us! They cheat on their dying wives. They buy too much jewelry. They support child labor.

    And they love online porn

    The Communications Decency Act of 1996 is not a subject that Newt Gingrich likes to talk about on the campaign trail. For the new GOP front-runner, the episode also marks a notable exception to his record as a social conservative: the time when Gingrich took on his own base to keep the web open for pornography…

    To fend off [pornographers], [Sen. Jim] Exon introduced an amendment to the Communications Decency Act criminalizing the transmission of "indecent" materials over the internet…

    "[The amendment] is clearly a violation of free speech and it's a violation of the right of adults to communicate with each other," Gingrich said at the time…

    With Gingrich's support, Rep. Chris Cox (R-Calif.) and Rep. Ron Wyden (D-Ore.) crafted an alternative proposal that eschewed punitive measures for online wardrobe malfunctions and expletives, and instead emphasized private, parental education initiatives. The bill passed the House overwhelmingly.

    Of course, Newt doesn't support just any old online smut. As a principled family-values conservative, he believes in the central role of the mother, both in raising the children and summoning the sperm that produces them. This bold stance, we can surely conclude, has paved the way for the Internet's unlimited supply of MILF-based porn.

    So remember to thank Newt Gingrich every time you log onto your favorite x-rated website. Just picture his ego-engorged head staring back at you, protecting your First Amendment right to immediately go flaccid.

    Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Internet, Newt Gingrich, Porn, Primaries, Republicans

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.