• Rick Perry Was Such a Bad Candidate Because His Back Hurt

    Turns out all that stuff we know about Rick Perry — such as him not being able to remember his talking points and not knowing how many people are on the Supreme Court and thinking that Solyndra is a sovereign nation and generally not talking good and stuff these past few months — all has a perfectly reasonable very simple explanation: His back hurt

    Rick Perry on Sunday for the first time offered his back surgery as a possible hindrance in his past debate performances. "You have a fusion on your back and it takes you a while to get back on your game," Perry told Iowa Public Television in an interview that aired Sunday night. Perry had serious back surgery on July 1 that involved a spinal fusion and nerve decompression to treat a recurring injury.

    "My back is great, I'm back running again for the last six weeks so I think part of the reason you've seen a somewhat different candidate on the debates is that my health is, really both physically and mentally, just really back in the game from the standpoint," Perry continued.

    I don't know about you, but I'm placated. That pretty much addressed all of my concerns. And now that he's back on the mend, I see know reason not to assume that he has a full understanding of foreign policy and basic American civics and English grammar. He should be good to go as the leader of the most powerful nation in Western Civilization.

    Just so long as he doesn't twist his ankle or stub his toe or something.

    Tags: Health, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Perry


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