• Liveblog: Fox News Debate in Iowa (aka The Last Time Newt Gingrich Gets the Center Podium)

    10:55 – Well, that's all for tonight. I know! The time just flies by in these debates, huh?

    What did you guys think of the debate? Who won? Who lost? Who stole Ron Paul's eyebrows?

    10:52 – Does Rick Perry only relate to other humans in sports analogies and prayer?

    10:49 – "I'm a serious candidate for president." — Michele Bachmann and every other serious candidate for president ever

    10:48 – Newt Gingrich believes that life begins at conceptions but marriage ends at cancer.

    10:43 – Rick Santorum says Mitt Romney, as governor of Massachusetts, issued gay marriage licences. He might as well have said he had sex with a dead raccoon.

    10:42 – Now Mitt Romney is flip-flopping over whether he ever changed his mind about something.

    10:39 – So, the economy is so bad that Mexicans aren't sneaking across the border anymore. Even more reason to erect an electrified fence. We, as Americans, need to protect our dishwashers and chambermaids.

    10:36 – So, Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich want to outsource immigration to American Express?

    10:35 – Man, the America that these candidates live in sounds like a really scary place.

    10:26 – Rick Perry says he likes the Tenth Amendment. That's the one thing he wouldn't cut as president.

    10:23 – Neil Cavuto just said "President Huntsman" on national television. I think that means Jon Huntsman gets to pack up his campaign and go home happy.

    10:20 – Rick Perry never looks like he's gonna be able to pull it off when it's his turn to talk. But then he just barely pulls it off. It's so suspenseful!

    10:17 – I miss Herman Cain.

    10:15 – That exchange between Ron Paul and Michele Bachmann was actually fascinating. Let's put an end to that nonsense!

    10:12 – Man, it's so scary that Ron Paul is the most reasonable person on stage by a Bachmann and a half.

    10:10 – Mitt Romney says that Obama's "pretty please" policy regarding Iran will lead to war. It may very well do that. And then I guess we'd all win, right?

    10:08 – "This is what their theology teaches." Hey, listen to Rick Santorum when he talks about insane religious beliefs. He knows from which he speaks.

    10:07 – "Iran is not any other country." Finally, Rick Santorum and I agree about something!

    10:03 – Ron Paul advocates against a president overreacting to Iranian nuclear armement. Get that nut off the stage!

    10:02 – Oh good! Finally we get to talk about our upcoming Iran War! I've been waiting nine years for this.

    10:00 – So, just to catch up here at the midway point: We want a to appoint part-time congress, abolish huge swaths of the district court system and start firing Supreme Court justices. Republicans, ruthless defenders of the Constitution!

    9:56 – Newt Gingrich paraphrased: "If we had nine judges as good as the ones who only decide for conservatives, we'd be in good shape. And by, we, I mean none of you people out there."

    9:52 – Michele Bachmann paraphrased: "I would only appoint Supreme Court Justices who share my interpretation of the Bible, uh, I mean Constitution."

    9:51 – I think Newt Gingrich just said he wants to abolish the Socratic form of law.

    9:46 – It's so weird. I get a text message at the end of every one of their turns. But then there's no text message. Spooky…

    9:45 – Rick Santorum's talking. Santorum break, everyone.

    9:44 – Jon Huntsman's talking. Bathroom break, everyone.

    9:43 – Rick Perry, by the way, doesn't just advocate cutting Congress in half. But we can get rid of at least a third of those Constitutional articles. And what's with all the amendments, am I right?

    9:39 – Ron Paul says that he has never once voted for an ear mark. Why would he need to? Look at the size of those two ear marks he was born with.

    9:34 – There are literally no contours to her skull.

    9:33 – Michele Bachmann brings up an excellent question: Can we airbrush people's faces in real life now?

    9:32 – Every once in a while, I have to pinch myself and say, "Oh my God, we're all actually listening to Newt Gingrich talk."

    9:30 – Newt Gingrich paraphrased: "Barney Frank is fat."

    9:29 – How often do you think people just spontaneously punch Newt Gingrich in the face while he's talking. I'll bet he almost doesn't even feel it anymore at this point.

    9:28 – Mitt Romney is doing a fantastic job with that fantasy debate he's having with Barack Obama.

    9:26 - TheInDecider: "This is my impression of Jon Huntsman's forehead: ~ ~ #iowadebate"

    9:23 – It occurs to me that these debates don't offer any new perspective of the candidates so much as an opportunity for one of them to say something funny so that we can all point and laugh. So far, I'm not laughing.

    9:18 – Michele Bachmann says that as president she would have had every one of the 538 congresspeople into her office together and given them a good talking to. Then she would have made them some cheese sandwiches and sent them into the backyard to catch junebugs.

    9:13 – Rick Perry wants to be the Tim Tebow of the Iowa caucuses. Could very well be. They have about the same chance of winning those caucuses.

    9:12 – Michele Bachmann, 55-year-old candidate: "I spent fifty years as a real person." Seems to me like that's an admission of something or other.

    9:10 – That seems pretty tacky for Jon Huntsman to be wearing that Michele Bachmann death mask.

    9:08 – Rick Santorum is counting on the people of Iowa to catch fire for him. And yet he's the anti-gay candidate. Right.

    9:06 – Now, do you think that Ron Paul really thinks that anybody up on that stage can beat Barack Obama? Really? Ickray Antorumsay?

    9:04 – Newt Gingrich keeps talking about these seven three-hour debates he wants to participate in for the American people. What did we ever do to him to deserve that kind of treatment?

    9:02 – This debate's been going for two minutes now, and I'm already annoyed by how chipper Bret Baier seems. It's almost as though he doesn't know he's participating in a Republican primary debate.


    Tags: Bret Baier, Chris Wallace, Debates, Fox, Iowa, Liveblog, Megyn Kelly, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Neil Cavuto, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul

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