• Newt Gingrich Too Busy Defining Civilization to Deal With Ballot Access

    Running for president isn't all about being an "ideas factory" or an expert fundraiser; winning the nomination also involves a lot of mundane canvassing work to get the candidates' names on each states' primary ballot.

    Which is an easy enough feat if you're a carefully calibrated electioneering machine like the Mitt Romney campaign (also, Mitt Romney himself), but what if you're occupied with teaching the rules of civilization, arousing those who form civilization and are generally too busy being Newt Gingrich to bother with petitions?

    Just a few hours after Politico reported that former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich is scrambling to get enough signatures to get his name on Virginia’s primary ballot, Mitt Romney posted an informal web video of him and his wife Ann at their kitchen counter, flipping through his own election paperwork…

    When asked about the report that Gingrich is still trying to get enough signatures for the ballot, Gingrich campaign spokesman R.C. Hammond told ABC News: "We are mobilizing volunteers across the country, some are hard at work organizing precincts, others collecting signatures.  They’re doing a great job."

    Now Romney is taunting his rivals? His A.I. programming is adapting so quickly to the full range of human communication/churlishness. As for Gingrich, I think he'll be okay. He's planning a trip to Virginia, a state with relatively onerous petition requirements, to drum up enough signatures in time for Thursday's submission deadline.

    And if actual petitioning doesn't work, I imagine Gingrich can come up with an excuse. Something like, "Frankly, what you have to understand, Mr. Registrar, is that ballot petitioning has been, historically speaking, a mechanism for Marxist elites to fundamentally impose their secular, Islamic vision on our Judeo-Christian civilization." Being a pseudo-intellectual blowhard instead of building a campaign infrastructure: 60% of the time, it works every time.

    Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans, Virginia


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