• This Guy Might Have Changed U.S. History

    You ever hear of Michael Osbourne? No? What if I told you that he is a failed 2011 independent candidate for District 5 of the Virginia House of Delegates? Ring any more bells? No? Me neither. I never heard of this guy.

    But, it could be that, in generations to come — once Skynet has seized control of the United States and we're all crying because Morlocks dragged our mothers down into their subterranean dwelling hole to feast on her soft and succulent Eloi flesh — we'll remember Michael Osbourne as the guy who kept Newt Gingrich and Rick Perry from winning Virginia's primary race saving us all from the Dark One, who is also known by his human name, Mitt Romney

    The only reason the Virginia Republican Party checked the signatures for validity for the current primary is that in October 2011, an independent candidate for the legislature, Michael Osborne, sued the Virginia Republican Party because it did not check petitions for its own members, when they submitted primary petitions. Osborne had no trouble getting the needed 125 valid signatures for his own independent candidacy, but he charged that his Republican opponent's primary petition had never been checked, and that if it had been, that opponent would not have qualified.

    The lawsuit, Osborne v Boyles, cl 11-520-00, was filed in Bristol County Circuit Court. It was filed too late to be heard before the election, but is still pending. The effect of the lawsuit was to persuade the Republican Party to start checking petitions.

    If the Republican Party had not changed that policy, Newt Gingrich and Rick Perry would be on the 2012 ballot.

    You blew it up! You maniac! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you, Michael Osborne, to hell!

    Tags: Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Perry, Virginia


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