• Dennis Kucinich Will Shiv You in the Side for Your Congressional Seat

    Remember that scene in The Dark Knight, when — just after slicing Gambol's face wide open — the Joker breaks a pool cue in two and throws it to the ground, informing the mob boss' former soldiers that "there's only one spot open right now, so we're going to have tryouts"? Remember that? Huh?

    Well, that's essentially what Ohio state legislators are doing right now with Reps. Dennis Kucinich and Marcy Kaptur

    Redistricting erased two House seats in Ohio, pushing the two incumbents into a single district. The new district contains areas of Kucinich's Cleveland base and Kaptur's Toledo base.

    After publicly shopping for a district in Washington state and mulling a challenge to Rep. Marcia Fudge (D-Ohio), Kucinich decided enough of his base was intact to mount a primary challenge against Kaptur, who is the longest-serving female in the House. The new district contains more of Kaptur's territory.

    Awesome! A good old-fashioned Democratic donkey-fight. This should be a lot of fun to watch. More fun, probably, than watch Kucinich sue the congressional cafeteria after biting into a olive pit in his sandwich, which, I believe, is the last newsworthy thing he did. This should at least be bloodier.

    Oh, and you'll never guess the trophy for being the first one who manages to drive their splintered pool cue deep into their long-time colleague's throat…

    The winner of the heavily Democratic district may face Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher (R), better known as Joe the Plumber, in the general election.

    This is the most amazing prize in the world.

    Until he beats one of them.


    Tags: Dennis Kucinich, House of Representatives, Joe the Plumber, Marcy Kaptur, State Legislature

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.