• Ron Paul Is a Libertarian Double Agent for the Democratic Party

    Highly-conservative former U.S. Navy chaplain Gordon Klingenschmitt has done the leg work. He's connected the dots. He's put two and two together. He's milked the monkey for its simian wisdom. And he's finally willing to make public his shocking discovery:

    The Ron Paul campaign is little more than an insidious conspiracy between the libertarians and Democrats — who, as everybody knows, love each other — to take over the Republican Party

    "In Iowa, the only reason Ron Paul is polling so high is because he’s getting crossover votes from the left-wing. And there are people who are trying to sabotage the Republican primary, they want to elect a Democrat, at least in his social conservative policies, Ron Paul is a Democrat, or is a libertarian. He’s anti-church, anti-Christian, anti-Israel, pro-homosexual, pro-marijuana, everything that we don’t believe in, the Democrats do believe in; everything that Ron Paul believes in, the Democrats do believe in.

    "I think that’s why they're lining up and they’re trying to make it appear as if in the Republican caucuses in Iowa and in the different places around the country, that Ron Paul actually has some Republican support.  I think he doesn’t. Ron Paul does not have any Republican support. Everyone who is a Ron Paul supporter is not a Republican, they are either a Democrat or a libertarian trying to take over the Republican Party."

    My God! Now it all makes sense!

    So, that's why Ron Paul keeps winning all those Conservative Political Action Conference straw polls. Damn liberal!

    Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Democrats, Libertarian, Primaries, Ron Paul


About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.