Rick Santorum must have seriously blown his newphew's Christmas gift. How else to explain this editorial?
"If you want another big-government politician who supports the status quo to run our country, you should vote for my uncle, Rick Santorum.
The Constitution was designed to protect individual liberty. My Uncle Rick cannot fathom a society in which people cooperate and work with each other freely. When Republicans were spending so much money under President Bush, my uncle was right there along with them as a senator."
All right mister, that's it! You can forget about Uncle Rick giving you rides to soccer practice. And taking you out for ice cream with your friends after, and explaining to you that you shouldn't sit so close to Billy in the back seat, because the slope toward eternal damnation is a slippery one, and what's wrong with that Jenny girl in your math class? Isn't she cute?
Anyway, there's literally nothing more hurtful you could do to your uncle at this point…
"It is because of this inability of status quo politicians to recognize the importance of our individual liberties that I have been drawn to Ron Paul."
Ron…PAUL?! The guy your uncle just called "disgusting"? The guy who's homophobia only goes so far as not wanting to use a gay guy's bathroom? The guy who thinks Iranians should be able to have nuclear power and who believes Israel can take care of itself?
If you were Santorum's son, he'd be ashamed that you have his last name. Although, to be fair, you probably would be too.
Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Iowa, Iowa Caucus, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul