• Newt Gingrich Is Cheating on America with a Gummi Bear

    Newt Gingrich has a lot of peculiar preferences: child labor, moon lasers, beach volleyball. But there's one passion he’s been hiding from voters until today.

    According to a tweet from Politico reporter Ginger Gibson

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    A habit for large gummi bears? How can he propose limited government and judicial restraint when he can’t even stop shoveling gigantic gelatinous ursine creatures into his mouth? Remember, he’s already left two wives. How can we be sure he won't leave America for an enchanted, sugary gummi bear forest?

    Maybe it's just a cover for some sort of domestic spying program. If there’s one thing we’ve learned from those gummi bears, it's that they're always "bouncing here and there and everywhere." They're all around us, watching, like some sort of Big Gummi-Bear Brother.

    In any case, Newt really shouldn't be eating any gummi bears. There are laws against cannibalism.

    Tags: Food, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans


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