Coming off an Iowa Caucus that involved .04% of the population anointing candidates in high fructose corn syrup and setting the narrative for the next stage of the Republican primary, I'm sure we're all looking forward to the rest of the nominating process being a bit more representative of the country as a whole.
On that note, let's turn to the 9
attention whoresupstanding, patriotic, totally representative Americans in Dixville Notch, a northern village in New Hampshire that's famed for casting the state's first ballots just after midnight…
Romney and Huntsman received two votes each. Coming in second with one vote apiece were Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul. For the Democrats, President Barack Obama received three votes.
The nine residents who cast their ballots include three registered Republicans and two registered Democrats. Four other voters haven't declared a party.
Are we done giggling about Rick Santorum not squeezing out even a solitary vote in Dixville Notch? Okay, then.
According to whoever last edited the Dixville Notch Wikipedia page, the Republican candidate with the plurality of Dixville votes has gone on to capture the nomination in every election year since 1968. Which means the Romney-Huntsman tie will bring chaos! A brokered convention! Paul Ryan/Chris Christie for President!
Or we can turn to Hart's Location, which you can think of as Dixville Notch with crappier marketing, where Mitt Romney won 5 votes, Ron Paul captured four votes, Jon Huntsman two, and Rick Perry and Newt Gingrich received one each. Crisis averted!
Or, we can admit that Dixville Notch and Hart's Location have less predictive power than an online poll at ronpaulforums.com or a Dick Morris column and just watch the rest of the results come in. Happy New Hampshire Primary Day!
* No. No, it will not.
Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Jon Huntsman, Mitt Romney, New Hampshire, Primaries, Republicans