• The Wealthy Are Mitt Romney's People, My Friends

    As expected, Mitt Romney accomplished the electoral equivalent of strapping his Republican opponents to the roof of his station wagon and taking a twelve hour drive through the woods of New England.

    He won 39.4% of the vote New Hampshire primary vote, besting Ron Paul's 22.8%, Jon Huntsman with 16.8%, Newt Gingrich with 9.4%, Rick Santorum with 9.3%, and Rick Perry, who exceeded expectations by beating Buddy Roemer with .7% of the vote. Soon it will be over and we can all go back to writing about policy (read: congressional sex scandals).

    But with so much time to kill before the Romney coronation becomes official, let's look at the exit polls to discover what percentage of Republican voters are going to die a little on the inside as they settle for Willard…

    * Romney is doing exceedingly well with his friends, the corporations. Or at least people who have incorporated for shady tax purposes — winning 47% of voters with incomes over $100,000 and 51% of voters with incomes over $200,000.

    * The following is a one scene ┬áplay about the Ron Paul campaign. Paul: "Let's phase out federal student loans…The responsibility is on the individual and the family to take care of their needs, not the federal bureaucracy." Student with thousands in federally-subsidized student loan debt: "LEGALIZE IT, WOOOOO!" Paul won 47% of voters under age 30, the end.

    * Mitt Romney won a plurality among those who believe politicians should "compromise to get things done" and also a plurality among those who believe their leaders should "stick to principles." Luckily for both groups, Romney believes in whatever they want him to believe.

    Okay, so Romney's remarkably acceptable to the New Hampshire base. Only South Carolina, the origin of every Snopes-debunked e-mail forward you've received your from aunt, can save the rest of the Republican field now.

    Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Buddy Roemer, Jon Huntsman, Mitt Romney, New Hampshire, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans, Rich Perry, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul


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