• Fox News Really Admires Newt's Cheating

    Newt GIngrich in South CarolinaStrange but true: Newt Gingrich is now leading Mitt Romney by nine points in South Carolina polling, right after his ex-wife went on TV and told everyone that he asked her for an open marriage while he was having an affair. I'm so confused! I thought that was the sort of revelation that could ruin a political career, or at least inspire people like Newt Gingrich to try to ruin your political career (cough blue dress cough hack).

    Let's get clarification from the values upholders over at Fox News

    Here's what one interested in making America stronger can reasonably conclude—psychologically—from Mr. Gingrich's behavior during his three marriages:

    1) Three women have met Mr. Gingrich and been so moved by his emotional energy and intellect that they decided they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with him.

    2) Two of these women felt this way even though Mr. Gingrich was already married.

    3) One of them felt this way even though Mr. Gingrich was already married for the second time, was not exactly her equal in the looks department and had a wife (Marianne) who wanted to make his life without her as painful as possible.

    Conclusion: When three women want to sign on for life with a man who is now running for president, I worry more about whether we'll be clamoring for a third Gingrich term, not whether we'll want to let him go after one.

    You got that? The issue isn't that Newt Gingrich "broke his marriage vows" or "led a life of lies/hypocrisy." It's that women–with their superior insight–recognized the inherent goodness of Newt Gingrich, his raw intelligence, his ability to last for hours whenever there was a premise to be challenged.

    The real shock here is that Fox News suddenly thinks that women's opinions are important, especially when one of them is lacking in the looks department.

    Photo by John W. Adkisson/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Fox News, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans, South Carolina


About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.