• John Kerry's Beaten Up Face Stops by the White House

    Yesterday, at a White House event celebrating the 2011 Stanley Cup-winning Boston Bruins, John Kerry showed up looking even more like a zombie than usual

    Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.) was part of the ceremony honoring the Boston Bruins 2011 Stanley Cup win, appearing like he had just come from a knock-down, drag-out ruckus.

    Kerry, 68, suffered two black eyes and a broken nose during a "friendly game of hockey" with family and buddies over the Christmas break

    This is what it would look like if for Halloween John Kerry dressed up like an editorial cartoon version of himself from the day after the 2004 election.

    Because politicians are like Native Americans — in that they use every part of the buffalo — the bones of this story were used to fashion a crude, blunt object for hitting Mitt Romney

    "A broken nose, two black eyes," his spokeswoman Whitney Smith confirmed in an e-mail.

    Of course she couldn't resist taking her own partisan slapshot in this highly competitive political season.

    "He must feel like Mitt Romney after South Carolina," she quipped, referring to the former Bay State governor and now-embattled GOP presidential contender.

    John Kerry can laugh about this without seeming petty because he also lost easy elections against idiots.

    Photo by Joshua Roberts/Bloomberg/Getty Images


    Tags: John Kerry, Mitt Romney, White House


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