• Rick Santorum Would Rather Do His Taxes Than Spend Another Minute Talking About the Moon

    Consensus pundit wisdom holds that Rick Santorum had the strongest debate performance last night, as he metaphorically tied Mitt Romney to the roof of his car and drove him around the block, pointing out theĀ heresies of Romneycare.

    If conservatives are looking for a strong debater to challenge Barack Obama, they could probably do better with Santorum then Newt Gingrich, whose hectoring of debate moderators works 30% of the time, every time, but often falters when the topic isn't perfidious poor people stealing his food (stamps). Unfortunately for Florida voters looking to get out of their loveless arranged marriage with Romney, Santorum would rather do damn near anything rather than spend another minute in that swamp of a state, where lunar and Cuba-related topics of discussion — just like the voters — are all relics from the Kennedy administration…

    Rick Santorum is tired, almost broke — and going home.

    Santorum says he would rather spend his Saturday sitting at his kitchen table to do his taxes than campaigning in a state where the race for the Republican presidential nomination has become a two-man fight between Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney.

    The cash-strapped candidate acknowledges that he simply can't keep up with the GOP front-runners in Florida.

    So the real issue is that at least half of Florida's convention delegates will be allocated to the winner of the state's popular vote and Santorum has little hope of matching the financial and organizational resources of the other candidates. Have no fear! Santorum's campaign is borrowing a strategy from the Ron Paul camp — the moneybomb. It's called the Conservatives Unite Moneybomb, or uh, C.U.M…and, damnit Rick, this is what happens when all of your campaign staffers are home-schooled.

    Photo by T.J. Kirkpatrick/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Debates, Florida, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Taxes

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