• Rumors of the South Carolina Zombie Apocalypse Are Greatly Exaggerated

    When it comes to the tail-risks of catastrophic climate change or the social instability brought about by burgeoning economic inequality, state Republican lawmakers are not really the people you turn to. But when it comes to the zombie menace, they are all over it.

    As explained by State Representative Alan Clemmons of South Carolina, "The bottom line is we must have certainty in South Carolina that zombies aren't voting," which would not be my first priority when faced with the undead, but you have to admire the man's commitment to the democratic process/desire to enforce a voter ID law that may disenfranchise thousands of citizens who lack state-issued identification.

    At issue is an accusation by the South Carolina DMV director — always the most reliable agency in any state government! — that 950 deceased voters cast ballots in the state's elections. Except when  the South Carolina attorney general's office gave the State Election Commission six names off the alleged dead voters list, it turned out the threat of zombies was greatly exaggerated. Which makes sense, since it's unclear why creatures who feast on brains would ever think a South Carolina Election Commission was fertile munching grounds…

    * One was an absentee ballot cast by a voter who died before election day.

    * One was the result of an error by a poll worker who mistakenly marked the voter as "John Doe III" when he was really "Joe Doe Jr."

    * Two were the result of clerical errors — stray marks on the voter registration list detected by the scanner that counts votes.

    * Two were the result of poll managers incorrectly marking the name of a deceased voter instead of the actual voter who was listed either above or below the deceased voter on the list.

    Since the existence of voter fraud is itself, mostly a fraud, I'm going to assume James O'Keefe killed that first voter to prove a point. It's totally his M.O.

    Photo by Jonathan Ferrey/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

    Tags: Primaries, Republicans, South Carolina, Voter Fraud, Voter Suppression


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