Political blogs, newspapers and pundits have been spilling gallons of digital ink all day over the exciting news surrounding Donald Trump and his choice of who to curse with his nomination. Would it be the guy who isn't very concerned about the poor, or would it be the guy who isn't concerned about the very poor? If everyone in the media wasn't already dead inside, the tension would have killed us!
In honor of the "major announcement," here's a short list of people/things whose endorsement would matter more than Donald Trump's…
1. Baby Donald Trump
Much more adorable than Donald Trump and about as intelligible.
2. Lonely Flamboyant Tiger
Just like Trump, he's spent too much time in Las Vegas and he doesn't know what it's like to be human.
3. The Apprentice PC CD ROM Video Game
This is a real thing that exists. This inanimate object's endorsement matters more than Donald Trump's.
4. A Puffer Fish wearing a wig.
Basically the same thing as Donald Trump, except a puffer fish occasionally deflates.
5. Two way-tie: Omarosa/Sarah Palin
This one is really a toss-up. Both of them are reality TV stars but only one of them started a relationship with Michael Clark Duncan after meeting him in a Whole Foods.
Photos by Jean-Christophe Vergaegen/AFP/Getty Images News/Getty Images, David Exton/SSPL/Getty Images, Roberto Gonzalez/Getty Images News/Getty Images, Frazer Harrison/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Donald Trump, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans