Hey Maine, hop on the table there. Now, if you'll just turn your head and cough, the doctor is going to take a look. This is going to be a little cold.
"If you want your kids to stay in Maine, have them drop out of school," Dr. James Whalen of Machias told the Bangor Daily News, likely with a steely gaze. If he was holding a mic at that point, he dropped it on the ground and then walked out of the room. If he didn't have a mic, he found one, and then dropped it. You hear that, Maine? Shape up! The doctor is not pleased with how you're taking care of yourself.
Three of Dr. Whalen's four children have left Maine. Baby birds need to fly (like the puffins up the coast at Machias Seal Island), but come on, call home once in a while, why don't you? The doctor sounds like he misses you. And what's up, fourth out of his four children? School wasn't your thing? We joke, we joke, mostly because we're a little intimidated by your dad.
The registered independent is running for a state senate seat in Maine's mighty District 29. He's also a hand surgeon. You might be surprised to learn there are more than five finger bones and a palm bone in the human hand, but that's just the sort of thing James Whalen knows. He also knows what's going on. According to the Bangor Daily News, "he's spent the last 33 years 'understanding what's going on.'"
"I'm tired of this whole county being underwater," said Whalen, whose district is literally next to the ocean, so… you know. That's got to hit a little close to home.
Photo by James Zipp/Photo Researchers/Getty Images
Previously: Diane Odeen, "Cheesehead: Don't forget it."
Our friends at Dr Pepper are going to send Dr. Whalen a one-of-a-kind t-shirt, and you get to choose its slogan:
Want a custom t-shirt of your own? Of course you do! Head to DrPepper.com and get started.
Tags: Maine, One of a Kind Candidates