Wow! Did you see Newt Gingrich's CPAC speech? If we thought Romney came out with guns blazing by touting his conservative credentials, nothing could've prepared us for Newt unveiling what was more or less a list of royal decrees.
Here are a few things President Gingrich will accomplish in his first hour-and-a-half, let's say…
1. Abolish all White House czars.
2. Approve Canadian oil pipeline to Houston.
3. Give "no money for abortion overseas, period."
4. Repeal "every act of religious bigotry by the Obama administration, period."
(That's another thing. President Gingrich will say "period" a lot.)
5. Eliminate the EPA.
6. Abolish the Department of Energy.
7. Drill for oil… everywhere!
8. Demand that Congress pass a law ending Ben Bernanke's term.
Not bad for starters, Newt, but come on. Really wow me! Tell me about the plumes of black smoke that will pour out of your White House, which presumably will be renovated into a Dickensian-era coal-burning plant where disadvantaged children will toil.
Or tell me about how all the people on our money will be replaced with a graphic of you high-fiving Ronald Reagan. At least tell me again about how you'll ignore the courts and use your status as Commander-in-Chief to do whatever you want.
Okay, maybe Gingrich can hold off on talking about that stuff — he's probably got a few weeks of campaigning left anyway. Until then, we'll all have to be satisfied with this quote of his, describing how he feels toward recruits to his campaign…
"We don't care who you once were, we don't care what you once did."
Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: CPAC, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans