• Indecision Delegates: That Presidential Look

    Jordan: Hello Fellow Citizens! As Jared and I cover the comings and goings of this election season, we've noticed an expression that seems to get thrown around a lot: "looking presidential." What does it mean to look presidential? And just how important is it?

    Jordan: In the past you didn't need good looks to be president. George Washington had wooden teeth! Abraham Lincoln? Sallow cheeked, pale, sickly and often times depressed. Actually, these days a guy like that might clean up in some hipster-heavy town like Austin or Portland.

    Jared: William Howard Taft was so fat he could have made a living as a sideshow attraction. People would come from three towns over just to see him.

    Jordan: None of these guys could get the nomination today. Television cameras and the internet have changed everything.

    Jared: Lets take a look at today's candidates and decide which one is most likely to blow the ladies’ hair back at those senior center coffee clutches…

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    NEWT GINGRICH

    Newt GingrichJared: I gotta say, I don't think Newt looks presidential at all. He's too bloated and corpulent. He literally looks like a fat cat, as in: tabby. It seems that one of the hard and fast rules for looking presidential over the last 100 years has been "No Fatties." The office is supposed to be oval, not the president.

    Jordan: I agree that Newt is not much on looks, but from the mudslinging he does at debates, ladies, you know this guy is a dirty talker.

    Final Verdict: Not Presidential
    He's sexy, but not in a presidential way. More in a piggy dungeon slave kind of way.

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    RICK SANTORUM

    Jordan: Women know he's straight cause he only talks about the sanctity of his sexual identity ALL THE TIME.

    Jared: I guess he has to go on and on about how straight he is to counteract the emasculating effect of those sweater vests. But looking presidential isn't about masculinity. It's about looking like a good guy, somebody you'd want to be friends with. I think Santorum looks like the evil dean in a college party movie. You can just see him screaming "I'm going to have this fraternity shut down!"

    Final Verdict: Not Presidential
    But he's straight, okay? Seriously! Marriage is sacred to him. He's like totally straight. Definitely.

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    RON PAUL

    Jared: Hmmm, this guy maybe looks like a president from the 1800s? Put a mullet on Ron Paul and he could be James K. Polk.

    Jordan: I think he looks like Clint Eastwood from Gran Torino, but crankier. And slightly less corpse-like. Does that make sense? Any takers?

    Final Verdict: Not Presidential
    He looks like he'd be yelling at the White House press corps to "GET OFF HIS LAWN!"

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    MITT ROMNEY

    Jordan: Now this guy looks like a president. Look at that jaw line. That is a jaw that could crush walnuts and hearts.

    Jared: I agree. Mitt Romney looks totally presidential. It's pretty much the only qualification he has for becoming president!

    Final Verdict: Looks Presidential
    He's definitely qualified to play the president in a SyFy original picture.

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    Photos by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images News/Getty Images, Andrew Burton/Getty Images News/Getty Images, T.J. Kirkpatrick/Getty Images News/Getty Images, Emmanuel Dunand/AFP/Getty Images


    Tags: Indecision Delegates, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul

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