Fresh off their Great Muppet Attack Caper, conservatives have a new kid-friendly enemy: Girl Scouts.
Sure, we all know the Girl Scouts as an organization of adorable hard-working cookie-selling girls, but did you know they're actually a shadowy cabal of left-wing lesbian abortionists?
Well, that's what one Indiana Republican claims. And it must be true because he read it on the Internet…
A Fort Wayne lawmaker has refused to sign on to a resolution celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Girl Scouts, calling the group a "radicalized organization" that supports abortion and promotes the "homosexual lifestyle."
Rep. Bob Morris, R-Fort Wayne, sent a letter to his fellow House Republicans on Saturday explaining why he would be the only member in the House not to endorse the non-binding resolution.
He said he did some web-based research and found allegations that the Girl Scouts are a tactical arm of Planned Parenthood, allows transgender females to join and encourages sex.
We all thought those little things Girl Scouts were selling were just cookies. Ha! So, so naïve. Tagalongs, those irresistible chocolate-covered disks, are filled with a delicious layer of peanut butter confection and abortion pill RU-486. And Samoas, those crunchy coconut-caramel rings you love so much? Sex toys.
Sunshine (Even gayer)
Puppies (Take handouts from hard-working humans)
Babies (Take handouts from hard-working adults)
Baby food (Too soft)
Photo by Paul Morigi/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
Tags: Abortion, Girl Scouts, Indiana, LGBT, Planned Parenthood, Sex, State Legislature